Fun Stuff > Insults
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A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults. -- Louis Nizer

snappy repartee: What you'd say if you had another chance.

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. -- Abraham Lincoln

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible, this was terrible with raisins in it. -- Dorothy Parker

If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me. -- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

You fill a much-needed gap.

There are some people in this world who should be removed in order to spare us their crushing banality.

But as he knew no bad language, he had called him all the names of common objects that he could think of, and had screamed: "You lamp! You towel! You plate!" and so on. -- Sigmund Freud

A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed keeping rabbits. -- Edith Sitwell

A modest little person, with much to be modest about. -- Winston Churchill

Don't be so humble, you're not that great. -- Golda Meir

A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity. -- Benjamin Disraeli

A four-hundred-dollar suit on him would look like socks on a rooster. -- Earl Long

A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits. -- Alexander Pope

Abstract art? A product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered. -- Al Capp

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite sameness. -- David Shipman

Always willing to lend a helping hand to the one above him. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald (about Ernest Hemingway)

Being attacked by him is like being savaged by a dead sheep. -- Dennis Healy

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you. -- Groucho Marx

End of season sale at the cerebral department. -- Gareth Blackstock

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome. -- Oscar Levant

Failure has gone to his head. -- Wilson Mizner

Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other. -- Neil Simon

God was bored by him. -- Victor Hugo

He's completely unspoiled by failure. -- Noel Coward

He's liked, but he's not well liked. -- Arthur Miller

He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces. -- Mae West

He's the type of man who will end up dying in his own arms. -- Mamie Van Doren (about Warren Beatty)

He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head. -- Margot Asquith

He can't help it - he was born with a silver foot in his mouth. -- Ann Richards (about George Bush)

He could never see a belt without hitting below it. -- Margot Asquith

He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner. -- Johnny Carson (about Chevy Chase)

He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating. -- Ayn Rand

He had a mind so fine that no idea could violate it. -- T.S. Eliot (about Henry James)

He had a winning smile, but everything else was a loser. -- George C. Scott

He had delusions of adequacy. -- Walter Kerr

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. -- Winston Churchill

He has every attribute of a dog except loyalty. -- Thomas P. Gore

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends. -- Oscar Wilde

He has no more backbone than a chocolate eclair. -- Theodore Roosevelt

He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul. -- David Lloyd George

He has the attention span of a lightning bolt. -- Robert Redford

He has the lucidity which is the by-product of a fundamentally sterile mind. -- Aneurin Bevan (about Neville Chamberlain)

He has turned almost alarmingly blond - he's gone past platinum, he must be plutonium; his hair is coordinated with his teeth. -- Pauline Kael (about Robert Redford)

He has Van Gogh's ear for music. -- Billy Wilder

He hasn't an enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him. -- Eddie Cantor

He is a fine friend. He stabs you in the front. -- Leonard Louis Levinson

He missed an invaluable opportunity to hold his tongue. -- Andrew Lang

He is a self-made man and worships his creator. -- John Bright

I think it is in our interest to punish the first insult; because an insult unpunished is the parent of many others. -- Thomas Jefferson to John Jay, 1785

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