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Insults III

She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit. -- W. Somerset Maugham

She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache. -- Noel Coward

She has a face that belongs to the sea and the wind, with large rocking-horse nostrils and teeth that you just know bite an apple every day. -- Cecil Beaton (about Katherine Hepburn)

She has been kissed as often as a police-court Bible, and by much the same class of people. -- Robertson Davies

She has breasts of granite and a mind like a Gruyere cheese. -- Billy Wilder (about Marilyn Monroe)

She has discovered the secret of perpetual middle age. -- Oscar Levant

She is a peacock in everything but beauty. -- Oscar Wilde

She is a water bug on the surface of life. -- Gloria Steinem

She looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth - or anywhere else. -- Elsa Lanchester

She looked like a huge ball of fur on two well-developed legs. -- Nancy Mitford

She looks like she combs her hair with an eggbeater. -- Louella Parsons

She looks like something that would eat its young. -- Dorothy Parker

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation. -- Jean Webster

She never was really charming till she died. -- Terence

She not only expects the worst, but makes the worst of it when it happens. -- Michael Arlen

She not only kept her lovely figure, she's added so much to it. -- Bob Fosse

She preserved to the age of fifty-six that contempt for ideas which is normal among boys and girls of fifteen. -- Odell Shepherd (about Louisa May Alcott)

She proceeds to dip her little fountain-pen filler into pots of oily venom and to squirt the mixture at all her friends. -- Harold Nicholson

She ran the whole gamut of emotions from A to B. -- Dorothy Parker (about Katherine Hepburn)

She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white spots on her yellow skin. -- Heinrich Heine

She should get a divorce and settle down. -- Jack Paar

She spends her day powdering her face till she looks like a bled pig. -- Margot Asquith

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. -- Margot Asquith

She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered. -- James Matthew Barrie

She was a master at making nothing happen very slowly. -- Clifton Fadiman

She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers. -- Alexander Woollcott

She was what we used to call a suicide blonde - dyed by her own hand. -- Saul Bellow

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork. -- Jonathan Swift

So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name. -- Alan Bennett

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. -- Oscar Wilde

Some folks are wise and some are otherwise. -- Tobias George Smolett

Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee later than others. -- Kin Hubbard

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. -- Joseph Heller "Catch-22"

Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week. -- William Dean Howells

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. -- Ashleigh Brilliant

Stay with me; I want to be alone. -- Joey Adams

Teflon brain (nothing sticks.) -- Lily Tomlin

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it. -- - Moses Hadas

That's not writing, that's typing. -- Truman Capote

That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting. -- Douglas Adams

The best part of you ran down your mother's legs. -- Jackie Gleason

The cruelest thing that has happened to Lincoln since he was shot by Booth was to fall into the hands of Carl Sandburg. -- Edmund Wilson

The finest woman that ever walked the streets. -- Mae West

The gods too are fond of a joke. -- Aristotle

The greatest thing since they reinvented unsliced bread. -- William Keegan

The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind. -- Joseph Stilwell

The tautness of his face sours ripe grapes. -- William Shakespeare

The triumph of sugar over diabetes. -- George Jean Nathan

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. -- George Bernard Shaw

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