• I am very detail-oreinted.

• I have a bachelorette degree in computers.

• Graduated in the top 66% of my class.

• Served as assistant sore manager.

• Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.

• Special skills: Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes.

• I can play well with others.

• I have exhaustive experience in manufacturing.

• Special skills: I've got a Ph.D. in human feelings.

• My contributions on product launches were based on dreams that I had.

• I eat computers for lunch.

• I have used lots of software appilcations.

• Objection: To utilize my skills in sales.

• Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years.

• Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job.

• Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco.

• I am a pit bull when it comes to analysis.

• I am the king of accounts payable reconciliation.

• Work history: Bum. Abandoned belongings and led normadic lifestyle.

• Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately.
• Reason for leaving last job: Bounty hunting was outlaw in my state.

• My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can sometimes offend.

• I love dancing and throwing parties.

• I am quick at typing, about 25 words per minute.

• I am a rabid typist.

• Skills: Operated Pitney Bones machine.

• Special Skills: Speak English.

• Education: B.A. in Loberal Arts.

• Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse.

• Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984.

• Experience with: LBM-compatible computers.

• Fortunately because of stress, worked in the cardiac intensive-care ward.

• Typing Speed: 756 wpm.

• Objectives: 10-year goal: Total obliteration of sales and federal income taxes and tax laws.

• Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable.

• Personal Qualities: Outstanding worker; flexible 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.

• My experience in horticulture is well-rooted.

• Work History: Performed brain wave tests, 1879-1981.

• Extensive background in public accounting. I can also stand on my head!

• I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy, and expertise.

• Personal: Married 20 years; own a home, along with a friendly mortgage company.

• My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.

• Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business.

• Frequent Lecturer: Largest Audience: 1,351. Standing Ovations: 5. Number of Audience Questions: 30.

• Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.

• Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math.

• My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job' -- and I like your company in particular.

job interview, n.: The excruciating process during which personnel officers separate the wheat from the chaff -- then hire the chaff.

See also:

• The Random Insanity of Letters of Reference
• How to improve your resume