The best thing to spend on your children is time.

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Children aren't happy without something to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.
-- Ogden Nash

Adolescence is like a house on moving day - a temporary mess. -- Julius Warren

Nothing so dates a man as to decry the younger generation .-- Adlai Stevenson

Bungee jumping and skydiving are for wimps. If you want to experience true gut-wrenching terror, have children.

Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long before he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human being ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money -- but long on hugs. -- Robert A. Heinlein, Notebooks of Lazarus

Adult, n.: One old enough to know better.

Boy, n.: A noise with dirt on it.

It isn't easy being the parent of a twelve-year-old. However, it's a pretty small price to pay for having somebody around the house who understands computers.

Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like. -- Arnold Bennett

"Mom, why can't I? It's a free country."
"Not while you're under my roof, it's not."

My momma may have raised a mean child, but she didn't raise no hypocrite. -- Molly Ivins

I called my parents the other night, but I forgot about the time difference. They're still living in the fifties. -- Strange de Jim

Life does not begin at the moment of conception or the moment of birth. It begins when the kids leave home and the dog dies.

There's nothing wrong with teenagers that reasoning with them won't aggravate.

The function of parents is to isolate children from the realities of the world until they're too old to learn to cope with them.

Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy. -- Robert A. Heinlein, Notebooks of Lazarus

There is an innocence in admiration; it is found in those to whom it has not yet occurred that they, too, might be admired some day. -- Friedrich Nietzsche

A boy gets to be a man when a man is needed. -- John Steinbeck

If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.