If we men married the women we deserved, we should have a very bad time of it. -- Oscar Wilde

Men who treat women as helpless and charming playthings deserve women who treat men as delightful and generous bank accounts. -- GQ

If men acted after marriage as they do during courtship, there would be fewer divorces - and more bankruptcies. -- Frances Rodman

You can't kiss a girl unexpectedly -- only sooner than she thought you would.

Women sometimes forgive a man who forces the opportunity, but never a man who misses one. -- Charles De Talleyrand-Perigord

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. -- Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill; Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

Do not view women as logical human beings. View them as minefields with make-up on. Be careful where you step. -- Mark Patinkin, The Providence Journal

The sooner our happiness together begins, the longer it will last. -- Miramanee, Star Trek: The Paradise Syndrome, stardate 4842.6

It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was someone else. -- Will Rogers

He who enters his wife's dressing room is a philosopher or a fool. -- Balzac

No self-made man ever did such a good job that some woman didn't want to make some alterations. -- Kim Hubbard

It's hard not to like a man of many qualities, even if most of them are bad.

It impossible for a man to love his wife wholeheartedly without loving all women somewhat. I suppose that the converse must be true of women. -- Robert A. Heinlein, Notebooks of Lazarus

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. -- Dumas [pronounced "dumb-ass?"]

Whatever the cause, we then made an erroneous conclusion that no one would ever take care of us the way we wanted. We embraced a childish belief that if we were always in charge, things were more likely to go our way. -- Laura Doyle, The Surrendered Wife

A young woman, who is the domineering spirit in her home, said of her ailing husband that he had consulted the doctor about a wholesome diet for himself and then added: "The doctor said that diet has nothing to do with his ailments, and that he can eat and drink what I want." -- Sigmund Freud, Psychopathology of Everyday Life

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a necessity. -- Oscar Wilde

Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. -- Mark Twain

There are a billion people in China. It's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a BILLION people. That means even if you're a one-in-a-million type of guy, there are still a thousand guys exactly like you. -- A. Whitney Brown, The Big Picture

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattentions of one. -- Helen Rowland

No modern woman with a grain of sense ever sends little notes to an unmarried man -- not until she is married, anyway. -- Arthur Binstead

Men say of women what pleases them; women do with men what pleases them. -- DeSegur

Serocki's Stricture: Marriage is always a bachelor's last option.

A friend is a present you give yourself. -- Robert Louis Stevenson

Lonely men seek companionship.
Lonely women sit at home and wait.
They never meet.