Words III

Mirable Dictu [it is marvelous to relate]

Our thoughts, our words, and deeds are the threads of the net which we throw around ourselves. -- Swami Vivekananda

"But Charlotte," said Wilbur, "I'm not terrific."
"That doesn't make a particle of difference," replied Charlotte. "...People believe almost anything they see in print." -- E.B. White, Charlotte's Web

Without publicity a terrible thing happens: nothing. -- P.T. Barnum

Has sensational journalism gone too far? Find out at eleven! -- John Stewart, The Daily Show

Reporters come in as newspaper men, trained to get the news and eager to get it; they end as tinhorn statesmen, full of dark secrets and unable to write the truth if they tried. -- H.L. Mencken

Literature -- even bad, honest literature -- changes you once you've experienced it well and fully. It makes you restive and always slightly hungry. It makes you feel not bigger, but incalculably smaller, because you're forced to realize that there are entire worlds -- locked up in distorted bits and fragments -- in more books than you'll ever have time to open. -- Gavin McNett, Reaching to the Converted

I caught this insight on the way and quickly seized the rather poor words that were closest to hand to pin it down lest it fly away again. And now it has died of these arid words and shakes and flaps in them - and I hardly know any more when I look at it how I could ever have felt so happy when I caught this bird. -- Nietzsche, The Gay Science

If language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant, and what ought to be done remains undone. -- Confucius

When there is something to be said, it is better if it is said right away. If it is said later, it will sound like an excuse. -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo, The Book of the Samurai

Note to self: Use fewer notes.

The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: "Of course it is none of my business but--" is to place a period after the word "but." Don't use excessive force in supplying such moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about. -- Robert A. Heinlein, Notebooks of Lazarus

A squeegee by any other name wouldn't sound as funny.

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language. -- Mark Twain

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" - bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez - tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld. -- Mark Twain A classic is something that everyone wants to have read and nobody wants to read. -- Mark Twain, The Disappearance of Literature

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