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Sex

Her kisses left something to be desired - the rest of her.

Other women cloy
The appetites they feed,
but she makes hungry
Where most she satisfies.
-- Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra

A man may sometimes be forgiven the kiss to which he is not entitled, but never the kiss he has not the initiative to claim.

Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman's toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace. -- Marianne Williamson, A Woman's Worth

It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge. -- Voltaire

Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

I can't mate in captivity. -- Gloria Steinem, on why she has never married

You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct. -- M. Somerset Maugham

I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town. -- Michael Prichard

When pleasure remains, does it remain a pleasure?

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. -- Steve Martin

Sex without love is an empty gesture. But as empty gestures go, it is one of the best. -- Woody Allen

Philosopy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex. -- Karl Marx?

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions. -- Woody Allen

Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. -- Robert A. Heinlein, Notebooks of Lazarus

The natural world is full of females falling hard for stupid male display behavior, including bright feathers, big antlers, and bombastic courtship rituals. -- Richard Conniff, Why We Take Risks

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

According to the latest surveys: when making love, most married men fantasize that their wives aren't fantasizing.

Marry him not for money or riches, but for what hangs in his britches.

A man is as young as the woman he feels. -- Groucho Marx

Men don't use sex to get what we want, sex is what we want! -- Fraiser

The girl who remembers her first kiss now has a daughter who can't even remember her first husband.

If the universe has any purpose more important than topping a woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I've never heard of it. -- Robert A. Heinlein, Notebooks of Lazarus

Celibacy is not hereditary.

Lord give me chastity - but not yet.

Jealousy is the face of low self-esteem.

Only a man can be a woman the way a man wants a woman to be -- Nicole Asahi

The world's a bitch....and she's in heat. -- Nada (Roddy Piper), They Live (movie)

My girlfriend always laughs during sex no matter what she's reading. -- Emo Philips

A lady once expressed herself in society -- the very words show that they were uttered with fervour and under the pressure of a great many secret emotions: "Yes, a woman must be pretty if she is to please the men. A man is much better off. As long as he has five straight limbs, he needs no more!" -- Sigmund Freud, Psychopathology of Everyday Life, Mistakes in Speech

The real reason an unfaithful wife wants to do other things with her lover besides have sex, I am convinced, is not so much to do those things as to surround the sex with enough distractions that she can continue to rationalise the true basis of the relationship. -- Steve Whitehouse

I'm going to Iowa for an award. Then I'm appearing at Carnegie Hall, it's sold out. Then I'm sailing to France to be honored by the French government. I'd give it all up for one erection. -- Groucho Marx

Lawyer: "Are you married?"
Witness: "No, I'm divorced."
Lawyer: "And what did your husband do before you divorced him?"
Witness: "A lot of things I didn't know about."

GM: So, Mrs. Smith, do you have any children?
MS: Yes, thirteen.
GM: Thirteen! Good lord, isn't that a burden?
MS: Well, I love my husband.
GM: Lady, I love my cigar but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
-- often attributed to Groucho Marx, You Bet Your Life)

But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass. -- Bill Hicks

A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy. -- Friedrich Nietzsche (?)

Pleasure is terrifying because it breaks down the boundaries between people. Embracing passion means living with fear. -- Erica Jong, The Zipless Fantasy More sex talk:


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